But What Will People Say?

February 26, 2024
Psychotherapist Kohli ventures beyond traditional Western therapeutic approaches in her innovative debut guide to mental health. Born to Indian immigrant parents, Kohli grew up grappling with her identity, finding only “white and therefore culturally individualistic” perspectives in self-help books. She became a therapist and in 2019 founded the online community Brown Girl Therapy to “raise awareness of ways in which we can decolonize therapy and mental health care.” Drawing on personal anecdotes, client stories, and online polls, Kohli digs into such issues as the “internalization of societal, cultural, or familial standards” that shape immigrant kids’ “dominant narratives” (“It can feel like we are characters written into our parents’ stories”) and the tension between retaining one’s heritage and assimilating for the sake of safety or ease. Kohli’s own narrative—growing up feeling trapped between two cultures; dealing with academic pressure; telling her parents she was dating a white American who became her husband—forms the backbone of the book, providing a solid foundation for thoughtful reflection questions, exercises, and tips on such topics as “cultural imposter syndrome,” in which one lacks a sense of grounding in both host and heritage cultures. Those seeking self-help beyond “eurocentric and colonial” models of care will be eager to dive in.

April 15, 2024
Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, a mental-health and wellness organization, straddles two worlds, the Indian culture of her family and the American culture into which she was born. As a therapist and journalist, she has explored the struggles of children of immigrants searching for what's normal and where they can fit in. Bravely using her own story as a template, Kohli recalls trying to live up to her parents' expectations, suffering sexual abuse and failures in college, and, finally, finding herself through therapy. All immigrant experiences are not alike, says the author, and accepted practices in one family may be dysfunctional in another. Kohli covers a lot, including religion, tradition, emotions, therapy, and boundaries. She urges readers to open communication with their families and offers suggested exercises and prompts. Kohli formed Brown Girl Therapy to help multicultural and multiracial readers relate to their families, balance their cultures, and find their own paths. This book is the result of her findings. It's the book she longed for in her youth; hopefully, it will be a guide for others facing similar challenges.

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